Comedy

Akpos and Bad News :LWKMD

Akpos’ elder brother, Tommy, traveled to London months ago, leaving behind Akpos, their aged mom & their pet cat, Kelly. Last week Tommy called from London to know how they’re doing…
TOMMY: Hello brother how are you doing? how’s mom and how is Kelly?
AKPOS: Kelly is Dead!
TOMMY(after a pause): Akpos, bad news is not revealed in that manner. U should have started by saying something like, “Kelly fell
inside a well but neighbors are trying to rescue it”. Then when I call again U tell me, “Kelly broke it’s neck and is receiving treatment”. Then when I call again, U tell me they did their best but couldn’t save it. That’s how to break a bad news in a mature way. OK?
AKPOS: Ok bros, understood.
TOMMY: Ok, so how is Mom?
AKPOS: Bros, Mom fell inside a well, but neighbours are trying to rescue her.
(Phone cuts).Tommy has been admitted in a private hospital in London after going into coma.

Akpos The Hunter

Akpos decided to follow his friend Osas on a hunting trip deep in the forest of Okomu reserve in Iguobazuwa. Akpos has never gone hunting while Osas has hunted all his life. When they got to the middle of the forest, Osas told Akpos to sit by a tree and not make a sound while he checks out an antelope trail.  After he got about a quarter of a mile away, Osas heard a blood-curling scream which scared away nearby antelope. He rushed back to Akpos and yelled; “I think I tell you say make you quiet?”
Akpos replied : “Shuo, I try o, I really try. When green snake waka pass my leg I nor shake body or make peem sound. When gorilla come dey breath hot and smelly smelly air for my face, I nor shake body or make shekele sound. But when two squirrel waka enter my trouser leg, one come tell the other one say, “Chei, see as this two palm kernels big like coconut, we nor go fit chop dem finish for here, so make we pluck and carry dem go home”, naim I come start to halla.

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